Gender Typing Young Children
A study finds that fear of having a gay child significantly impacts how parents shape their child’s behavior to align with gender stereotypes.
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Gendered parenting is when parents convey stereotypical information to their sons and daughters about how girls and boys are supposed to think, feel, and behave.
Previous studies have shown that there is a clear association between parents’ binary conceptions of gender and gendered parenting.
But researchers wondered if an aversion to the possibility of their child developing a same-sex orientation could also motivate gendered parenting.
To find out, they conducted studies with parents of preschool children in two distinct contexts: Israel and the United States.
To test their hypotheses, they devised a scenario around a non-conforming gendered behavior in which a child chooses a counter-stereotypical pajama design as a birthday present. Then they asked parents to share the extent to which they would encourage or discourage their child’s choice.
The results showed that in both Israeli and American parents, aversion to the possibility of having a gay child significantly predicted gendered parenting practices.
“Parents who most disapproved of their child’s non-conforming pajama choice, expressed the strongest resistance to deviation from the gender binary,” write the researchers in the journal PLoS One.
The same parents also expressed explicit fears that children who behave in a gender-nonconforming manner will suffer insults and be ridiculed.
When comparing boys and girls, researchers also found that parents of boys used harsher and more explicit wording when expressing disapproval of their sons’ choice of a counter-stereotypical pajama.
By comparison, parents of girls gave responses that reflected much less gendered parenting.
“This finding aligns with precarious manhood,” write the researchers, “a concept that suggests masculinity is fragile and must be actively acquired by boys (and instilled by fathers), and consistently maintained through actions that demonstrate it.”
When breaking down the reasons for parental disapproval of non-conforming behavior, several clear reasons emerged from the study: fear of ridicule and social ostracism being directed at their child; aversion to deviation from socially accepted gender norms; and binary and conservative perceptions of gender and gender roles.
The research article can be downloaded here or requested through your school or library using this citation: Kislev N, Saguy T. Parents’ aversion to the possibility of having a gay or lesbian child predicts gendered parenting. PLoS One. 2025 Dec 4;20(12):e0338209. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0338209. PMID: 41343531; PMCID: PMC12677495.
D.L. Lee is the author of SISTERLY LOVE, a novel about two sisters who grow apart.
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